Script Revision

The Accident

by

Karen Garcia

INT. APARTMENT-MORNING

Robert has his day off from work. It is the morning and he get ready to go to breakfast.

EXT.NYC STREETS/RESTURANT(BREAKFAST)-AFTERNOON

He walks inside, sits himself down on the bar. He says hello to workers at the resturant. Waitress walks up to him and pours him coffe in a cup.She look ats him.

WAITRESS

Goodmorning Robert! How are you today?

RoBERT

Goodmoring, Im doing fine, thanks for asking.

WAITRESS

That’s good to hear.

Waitress walks away. Robert fixs his coffe by putting milk and sugar in it. Swirls it around and drinks it softly. He sets the coffe down, and looks around the room/resturant. Everyone looks happy. Waitress walks up to him again.

Waitress

So, what would you like to order?

robert

Uhmm... I would like ..

He gets interrupted because somebody yells.

STRANGER

Ahhhhh!!! Help Help!!! My friend is chocking!! HELP!!

Robert turns his head looking at the lady chocking almost turning purple. He freaks out and nobody in the room does anything to save her. Robert runs across the resturant to their table and grabs the lady from behind and starts to push her in the stomach. He counts to 3 on every push.

ROBERT

One! Two! Threee!! One! Two! Threee!!

The lady starts turing deep purple. Robert is sweating and he tries harder and harder everytime.

ROBERT

ONEE! TWOO!! THREEE!!!

She finally spits out the food and is in relief.

LADY

Ahhh..(breathes hard/trying to catch her breath)

She faints in shock. Robert was able to catch her. He was in shock, so he puts her on the floor and starts asking people to help him. 

ROBERT

Somebody help me! give me some alchol or something strong to wake up her up! Please! Hurry!!

Roberts tries giving her cpr but it didn’t work. Robert looks at her friend.

ROBERT

What’s her name?!

Her friends is crying while answering

STRANGER(FRIEND)

Jessica! Her name is Jessica!!

Robert looks at Jessica. He opens her eye lids and nothing. The waitress ran to robert able to give him alchol in cup.

ROBERT

Jessica! Can you hear me?! 

He puts the cup near her nose and moves it around her nose.

FRIEND

What are you doing to her?!

ROBERT

Im trying to wake her up with the smell of the alchol! It is strong so will able to wake up her senses!

While Robert was telling the friend, Jessica starts to wake up.

JESSICA

Uhhh what is going on?

ROBERT

You were choking and all of a sudden you fainted.

Jessica looks at him like confused.

JESSICA 

You saved me?

ROBERT

Yes, yes i believe i did.

Jessica looks at him with confusion.

JESSICA

Soo, uhm thank you.

ROBERT

No problem.

Jessica starts to look at him with “googley eyes”/in love.Robert gets weirded out and feel akward

JESSICA

What your name my savior?

ROBERT

My name is Robert. Robert Matthews.

JESSICA

Well Mr.Matthews.. thank you again.

ROBERT

Anytime.

Jessica sits up while looking at Robert. Robert slowly stands up and tries not to move her. He starts to walk away and Jessica calls him.

JESSICA

Wait, where are you going? Don’t leave, you saved my life and I wish to return the favor. Lets go to diner.

Robert looks at her like if she is crazy.

ROBERT

Ahhh, no thank you. I think I’ve done enough and you don’t owe me anything.

Jessica stands up and chases him by walking. She grabs him by the hand.

Jessica

That is the least you can do. 

She whispers to him in his ear.

Jessica

Plus, I think I am in love with you.

Robert looks at her with frustration.

ROBERT

Ohhhh Gooooddddd !

The mistakes I saw on my script was that I wrote too much detail on the side paragraphs, and I wrote very short conversations. They were sort of boring.